You PEED in the POTTY! Yea!!! That is THE ultimate moment of parenthood. Yes, you love when your infant says ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’ or when they take their first step. But peeing in the toilet…goodness, that tops them all. And so what do we do when this happens? We FREAK OUT with praise, we call EVERYONE from friend to grandma to dad while they are at work! We boast this accomplishment within listening distance of our toddler so we make sure they know we are proud of them.
What have we done? We praised outcome and not effort. AND we freaked our toddler out! They don’t know how they actually did this!?
Too much praise can actually have an opposite effect on your child. We need to praise effort. ’I am proud that you sat on the toilet every morning when you wake up, good job! Let’s put a sticker on your calendar!’
When they actually do pee or pooh in the toilet? You say, ‘Yep, that is what is supposed to happen! Good job! High five or fist bump’. Then wait for dad or mom to come home and then say, ‘Guess what, she put pee in the toilet!’ Fist bump.
Now we are getting somewhere.
If you frighten your child with high expectations…they won’t even try. And then we get this huge power struggle which parents can not overcome. Take a step back.
‘I love it when you try!’ Say this five times for every goal, forever!
